It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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