Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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