i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
