evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
