how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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