I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's always time for handjobs
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
