Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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