I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
