Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
