Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
