I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
