Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
