He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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