okay pat passed out under dana's car
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
