Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
