We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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