sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Is it because I queefed?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
