To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
