Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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