i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
