do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
