Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
