Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
