Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
