from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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