didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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