So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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