we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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