Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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