Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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