would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
