Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Too much gin, very little bucket
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize