They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
