There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
