id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
