No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize