New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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