Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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