im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
