Me too!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
they're like a gay fantastic four
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
