Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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