I wish I could punch you in the face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
