found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
