i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
