I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
