we have pet lesbian snakes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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