it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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