Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
