She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
