apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
